Feb. 13th, 2005

kaito: (Default)
Valentine's Day has to be my least favorite holiday. I mean, it's named for a saint that got beheaded, right? For some reason, we say it's all about love, and yet I find it only to be a stupid excuse to give money to candy, card, floral, and jewelry companies. Therefore, I do not really celebrate it. Although, I must admit, those Necco Sweethearts are really good... ^^

Today sucked. Seriously. I once again couldn't find my Zoloft, and we had a choir concert that my parents came up for. This stuff wasn't bad, especially because I FINALLY found my medicine and can start taking it again tomorrow morning ^_^. However, here's where life went bad. Christie always gives me a ride to stuff. Always. She always comes to me and tells me when she's leaving. She didn't today. By the time I realized that she had completely forgotten me, it was too late for me to catch anybody else. I ended up walking about 25 blocks to where the concert was, and was about half and hour or more late. And her apology was... lacking. In fact, she's once again ignoring me. I tried not to blame her in explaining, and didn't even tell my parents about it. But I am sooooooo mad at her. Oh fudge, we have a floor meeting. Thus ends my ranting. If you know a way to bug Christie for forgetting me, please do so!

Okay, I'm adding onto this. God, I hate it here!!! It's a great school with great teachers and great acquaintances, but I have no friends. At all. And the people who do know about how shy am I don't try to help me meet people at all (aka Christie). We were working on some stupid shirt thingy tonight, and I'm not even getting one because I am not a part of this group. I'm just me. That's it. I don't fit in anywhere. The only problem is, I wouldn't fit in anywhere else, so I'm not leaving. I can't stand it! Apparently, my old roommate is now moving in with somebody else on this floor, which just makes me feel even more like a loser. I hate this. I hate it soo much. They wanted us all to make bags for people to put Valentines in. Yeah, like I'm getting any! I wrote "Card and Candy Companies Day. Was there even a point in me making this?" Chirstie's all like "It's singles awareness day!" Dude, her boyfriend broke up with her last week and who wants to bet she'll have one by next week? Seriously. She's such a freaking flirt! It's no wonder he called it off! And she just wants to hang out with her new buddies and doesn't even bother to really introduce me. Did I mention that I hate it here? I don't even know who I'm gonna room with next year. Choosing a roomie requires actually being friends with somebody, and I refuse to pay for a single. Lord, I hope I don't have to this semester! Sadly, this is probably the best college I'm gonna find, and I still freaking hate it! I now remember why I like skipping floor meetings, it just makes me feel even more pathetic.

I'm really sorry you all had to read that, but I just wanna leave these dorms and never come back. The best/worst thing is, I'm sure no one would even notice. But that requires me having to pay for an apartment, which I can't do. ERG!!! I just wish people would realize that I wait to be approached! I'm not antisocial once you start talking to me!!! Why does the best school still have to suck? Why?! Of course, this is me talking after a week of not having my meds, so that could be affecting it. Although I still feel like crap during times like this after I've taken them. I can't stand it here. But there's nowhere else for me to go. Just one friend! That's all I ask for! One!!! Please!!! ...Did I mention that I hate it here?

...Erg, sorry again,

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