Simple Prayer(s)

Dear God,
Hi, it's me! You know, the crazy kid with the cartoon obsession? I know I don't pray as often as I should, and I tend to question things that I really shouldn't, and when I do pray it's for really stupid reasons, but today, I ask you humbly with all of my heart and soul to save this country and not let Bush get re-elected tomorrow. Show your mercy upon our failing country and pull us out of this abyss that that man has gotten us into. Thanks!
~msbbt

Buddah,
Hello. I'm that weirdo who's been showing a strange interest in your teachings because of that whole Miroku obsession. I would ask that you use whatever powers (if any) that you have achieved in your nirvana to keep Bush from getting re-elected. You were all for peace, and he's the messenger of the exact opposite. Thanks!
~msbbt

Almighty Zeus,
I know that you don't get many prayers anymore, but I would like to ask if you would use your majestic powers to keep Bush from getting another term. I would be ever grateful if you and your siblings, children, and wives would be so kind as to show mercy upon a world that you usually like torturing and save us from that man. Thanks!
~msbbt

Sacred Cow,
I'm not sure if you have powers or if you really exist in Hinduism, but if you're there, could you please keep Bush from getting into office? If you'll do that, I swear I'll never eat beef again! Thanks!
~msbbt

Satan and Bill the One-Eyed Goat (his mascot),
Now I don't like you, and you don't like me, and I don't even think you have any real powers cause God could kick your butt whenever he wanted to. But I just want to say that you've tortured us enough! Please let your servant, George W. Bush, not get a second term. We're suffering enough as it is. I really enjoy being able to afford food and having a house to live in. I don't want that to go away. I know you could care less and I really could care less about you, but I just thought you should know.
~msbbt
P.S. God is awesome!!!

(Chuy decides he's never going to speak to me again)

~msbbt